Another My Immortal Commentary
by FourthStar
Summary: Just another commentary for the famous fan fiction called My Immortal.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the commentary.

(My words are written in bold)

I decided to do a commentary after reading one of my friend, MagnoliaMellark's commentary on this. It's amazing, so go check it out! _

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)** I see what you did there…** . 2 my gf (ew not in that way)**That's nasty, bro. I never thought "goffik" people used the word "GF" when referring to their friends.** raven, bloodytearz666 **My goodness.** 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling.**And what a wonderful spelling job she did!** U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok **That's depressing.**

2! MCR ROX! Hi my name is Ebony **I looked up what Ebony meant. It's in a reference with a tropical tree. You know you're cool when you're named after the colour of a tree.** Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way** That's one goffik name. Adding Darkness to it really makes it sound dark. Wtf is up with the apostrophe though?** and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips **Purple is nice. Red is a bit too much.** that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears **You remind me of The Happy Tree Friends characters.** and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie **Eww! INCEST.**. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. . I have pale white skin **Huh, I thought you would have dyed it red or purple. **. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell)** NOOO I NEVER THOUGHT TO CALL YOU THAT. I WAS JUST HALLUCINATING WHEN I READ YOUR FIRST SENTENCE.** and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example** Oh great…** today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation **Unsecure with your vampire skin, I guess.**,. black eyeliner and red eye shadow. **Uh huh.** . I was walking** No flying?** outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining **That's some messed up weather!** so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me.***death glare*** I put up my middle finger at them **I bet they were highly offended by that.**. "Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Draco Malfoy! **Great suspense you got there.** "What's up Draco?" I asked."Nothing." he said shyly **AWW HE'S SO SHY TO TALK TO YOU. But if he was shy why would he talk to you? My mind has been blown.**. But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. **Dang friends ruined the conversation. **

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

**I think I just lost some IQ points after finishing this.**


	2. Chapter 2: Draco's Secret Love

**Here's more of the commentary to this utterly stupid story. It's a great way to pass time.**

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta**!** **Man, this girl is GOOD at helping people.** BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok**!** **I'm not a prep, but let me get my flamethrower. It will probably be useful later on.**

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. **I thought you were going to wake up in Narnia. MY MISTAKE. **It was snowing and raining again. **crazeh weather **I opened the door of my coffin and drank some

blood from a bottle I had. **OMG I NEVER KNEW THEY STILL SOLD THOSE. By the way, where do you keep these bottles? It must be very awkward for strangers to come into your bedroom. It would be kinda like " Oh hey, what's that?" "Oh you know, just some blood I bought at the supermarket. Nothing much bro." **My coffin was black ebony **TREE REFERENCE **and inside it was hot pink **Quite vivid, if I may say. **velvet with black lace on the ends. ** Where do you buy these? **I

got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas**.** **I'm guessing pants are for preps.** Instead, I put on a black leather dress,**I'm for some reason thinking you're going to have a whip 0_0 **a pentagram necklace,

combat boots and black fishnets on. **Quite the outfit, there. **I put on four pairs of earrings in my

pierced ears**, ****Where else would you put earrings? I'm going to go with in your teeth. **and put my hair in a kind of messy bun. **Leather dress, pentagram necklace, combat boots, fishnets, and earrings. The messy bun realllyyy pulls everything off for ya.**

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) **Greatttt **woke up then and

grinned at me. **That awkward moment when you're getting dressed and then your friend in their coffin wakes up and smiles at you. **She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair **MODEL HAIR FLIP. **with pink streaks

and opened her forest-green eyes. **Wait, weren't her eyes already open? Did she smile at you with her eyes closed and flipped her hair with her eyes closed? Oh, she was probably trying to give you privacy while you were getting dressed. Makes sense. **She put on her Marilyn Manson t-

shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. **NO**We put on our makeup (black lipstick white

foundation and black eyeliner.) **You're going to look like a zombie with all the white and then black makeup.**

"OMFG,** Le friend breaks awkward silence** I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.** OHHH YESS. HE SAID HI TO HERE. LET'S ARRANGE THE MARRIAGE AND THEY SHALL FLY OFF TO HAWAII TOGETHER. **"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.**Vampires blush? Never saw Edward blush around Bella. **"Do you like Draco?"**If saying hi to someone mean you like them, I honestly should be careful to who I say it to. **she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and

into the Great Hall."No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.**LIES.**

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.**WTF where did he come from?**

"Hi." he said. **He said hi. That was the proposal.**

"Hi." I replied flirtily.**I thought you didn't like him.**

"Guess what." he said.**SUSPENSE DRACO, SUSPENSE.**

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.**Never knew Good Charlotte knew the area of Hogwarts. **"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.**Aren't you goffic? GC sang the song Dancefloor Anthem ( I don't want to be in love) No very goffic song there.**

"Well... do you want to go with me?" he asked.**You'll regret that decision my friend. When you are sleeping tonight, it will haunt you.**

I gasped.**I had a heart attack from all the suspense. I just couldn't handle it. **


	3. Chapter 3: Party like a Rokkstarr

**More of this… Whatever it should be called. I got bored XD**

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK!**I apologize; I'm getting really skilled with the flamethrower. **Odderwize** THAT REMINDS ME OF ZE OTTERS **fangs 2 da goffik

ppl 4 da good reviews** Hmmm, I think you consider good reviews are when people say " WTF did I just read" or "What the shannanigans"**

FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah,

BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.** Don't involve a good band in this story please. **On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels.**DESCRIPTIVE STORY TIME…AGAIN!** Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress

with all this corset stuff on the back and front**. There is just so much corset stuff you can't keep track! **I put on

matching fishnet on my arms**. **I straightened my hair

and made it look all spiky.** How is that possible? **I felt a little depressed then,** Oh yeah, me too. After I'm done describing to myself what I'm wearing in my head, my life has no meaning to it anymore. AND EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE. *sarcasm* **so I slit one of my wrists. **No comment**

I read a depressing book **Did you read Marly and Me? That book always makes me cry ;_;**

while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC.**WOW, you sure are patient. I can picture you looking at your wrist every second saying " THE DANG BLOOD AIN'T GONNA DRY. JOEL FROM GC MAKE IT DRY FASTER. NAOWW"**

I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on

some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway.**Finally!**

I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.**Yea, nothing says getting pumped for a concert like a nice glass of human blood.**

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. **Pimpin' ride. Reminds me of that song "I'm a gangsta, I'm a straight up G"**...He was

wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black

nail polish and a little eyeliner**Y U DO THIS TO DRACO. THE CHILD IS INNNOCENT**..(AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it

ok!)**. ****You have a different view of cool, and that is fo sho.**

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice**. ****Exclamation mark but you're depressed? I'm going to try doing that **"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said

666)**" Imma Satanist, imma straight up S." **and flew to the place with the concert.On the way we

listened excitedly ** I thought you were depressed? Oh, you can cut your wrists and watch the blood try TOGETHER. **to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson.We both smoked

cigarettes and drugs.**ONE DOES NOT NEED DRUGS TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. **When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. **Did you guys have parachutes or something?**

We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and

down as we listened to Good Charlotte**. ****Like little children on Christmas XD**

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts

your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da

lyrics 2 dat song). **MY GOD I JUST READ ABOUT GIVING BIRTH. MY EYES.**

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his

amazing voice.**You're on a date… You don't call someone hot when you're with someone else….**

Suddenly Draco looked sad.**Epic fail**

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on."Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.**pftttt**

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.**Careful Joel. Get too close to his lady and he might attack and give you vampire rabies.**

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I

fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.**Someones jealous. Oh Ebony, a lot of us hate your ugly descriptive face too! Share the hatred!**

WHOA The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank

some beer and**I sure do hope there is a designated driver!** asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them.

We got GC concert tees. Draco

and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he

drove the car into... the Forbidden Forest!**WHAT THE SHANANIGANS.**


End file.
